My friend Bertha is quite annoying. She shows up whenever she wants. It does not matter if I am enjoying a perfectly beautiful day or sitting on the couch watching TV. The shrew just shows up whenever she wants and just walks into my life as if she is the one in charge. I ask her to leave, but she will not. When she is around, she clings to me and makes me so uncomfortable. Everything is about her. She reminds me of that heavy feeling you get when someone you really do not like enters a room. She is such an evil shrew. I wish she would leave me alone.


I have something she wants. Bertha is a thief and an addict. She comes into my life whenever she wants and takes what she wants. If you give her something in one hand, she will be steeling with the other, sneaky shrew. She steels something from me but does not even take care of it herself. She has no concept of what belongs to me and what belongs to her. She trashes everything. She does not care about anything. She expects me to take care of everything I give her. I do not know why she thinks I am her friend. I am seriously quite the opposite. I just deal with her because that is just who she is. Bertha’s addiction is out of control. The more she takes, the more she needs. Her tolerance is very high. She can be ruthless if she does not get her fix.  I bet she would lie to me if I let her but I know better to listen to her. I wish she would see that she does not need her addiction. She could choose to stop and be nice but she does not.

Bertha’s Sweet Addiction AKA Estrogen

Bertha keeps me up at night. She sits on me. She is quite heavy too. She pushes me repeatedly from one side to the other. I try to lie on my back and she pushes me to the side. If I am on my side, she pushes me to my back. She wants me tired so I give in to her addictions and thievery during the day. Bertha literally exhausts me. I swear she pinches me too.  Bertha is a bully!

Bertha the Bully

Ironically, Bertha teaches me so much. She taught me to reach deep within myself and find my inner strength and true potential. The gifts she gave me are countless. Bertha helped me find my inner beauty. I feel like I am shining. Her persistent negativity made me find positivity. I am very healthy because of Bertha.

Enough Said! 🙂

Dear Bertha,

I know what you really are. You are cancer. You will not take me.


Jenny (your archenemy)

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