Month: June 2013



balance and unity

passion filled love

peace from honesty

truth from above

the stillness inside

the serene presence

the total compliance to love


love filled

agreement to self

aligned with spirit

where happiness dwells

forgetting worry

developing sense

seeing the truth

soul recompensed

the spark of the spirit

connected within

true identity




Are you fearing GOD?

Most people define fear as a disturbing emotion due to danger, evil, or pain. If you do a search for images of fear creepy pictures appear.

When it comes to GOD, I never understood this concept because GOD is love. Why would GOD want us to feel this way? When people told me that I need to fear GOD I always felt that wasn’t right. GOD doesn’t want me to be afraid. I never, never, never understood that concept.

I decided to look up the actual definition of fear. Looking past the first few examples, I found a definition that doesn’t fit in with the others; reverential awe, especially toward God. This does not have anything to do with disturbing feelings due to danger, evil, or pain. Fear in God is to have reverential awe. Of course, I had to get the definitions of reverence and awe. Reverence is a feeling or attitude of deep respect tinged with awe; veneration, a gesture indicative of deep respect. Awe is an overwhelming feeling of reverence, admiration, fear, etc., produced by that which is grand,sublime, extremely powerful, or the like. There’s that word again, fear, it even shows up in the definition for awe. But notice that next to fear is also the word admiration. Admiration is the feeling of wonder, pleasure or approval.

With all these definitions I’ve come to the realization that ‘FEARING’ God is not exactly what I thought it was. I am not supposed to be afraid of GOD. GOD does not want me to be afraid. The thoughts I am supposed to have towards GOD are an overwhelming deep respect and approval because God is sublime and pure love.
There are many, many believers that say that I must FEAR GOD; be afraid of doom. Everyone of those conversations led me to have bad feelings. Those conversations do exactly the opposite, they instill feelings of danger if you do not fear GOD. If I was afraid of GOD all my good actions towards people would be in vain. I would serve others only because I would be afraid of doom. Instead I serve others because I want to spread love.

These “Christians” portrayed a picture of GOD as being a big meany, the complete opposite of what GOD really stands for; LOVE. This is just one example of how Satan confuses believers. Satan instills fear; the wrong definition of fear. The one that lends confusion towards GOD. Let me say, GOD is not confusing. As soon as you feel confused about GOD, is the moment Satan is trying to lead you astray. Satan points every where but up.

What’s worse than all of this? Nothing really, but there are some side effects. For instance, fear sets in which leads to self doubt and not completely trusting yourself or GOD. Then that leads you to a place where love is absent or at least not completely there. Can you see how Satan works? Once you let fear in, your actions and decisions become based on fear. For example, I feared rejection. It was really hard for me to blog and then post to the world. I made the decision to stop fearing and publish out of love (it took some coaxing from a very nice lady). Eventually, I thought, “maybe, if I could help just one person, it will all be worth it. It is worth it and the proof is in the followers (the blessings of my work). Do not fear GOD in the essence of being afraid.

When we live in fear we create our own nightmare, we are never happy. When we live in love our dreams come true, we have happiness. Once our actions are based on love, we start to understand the oneness of GOD, as in GOD is everywhere and is everything. We can feel enlightened. Once our actions are based on love we stop hurting others. Once our actions are based on love we stop doubting and start trusting GOD and also ourselves. We start loving ourselves completely. Once we love ourselves completely we learn the love GOD has for us. All of our actions become based on love and we are at peace. We are one with GOD. All of a sudden, we are fulfilling our purpose on Earth. We stop wondering in a haze and start walking with a purpose and working with a purpose. We don’t need rules because when we live in love we are following the ultimate rule, the golden rule.

golden rule

Changing the way you see GOD will change YOU. Your actions will be based on love. Do not be afraid of GOD. Fear GOD with an awe, inspiring reverence. Admire GOD with reverential awe and know the pure love that is meant for you.

Please read this scripture.

1 Peter 2:17 (NKJV) Honor all people. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the king. 

Does it have new meaning to you? I hope it does.

Scars-A story of Breast Cancer

Here is the story of my breast cancer according to my scars.

First the tumor removal. The tumor was approximately 2 centimeters big. It was warm to the touch and definitely made my boob look bigger. This scar actually consists of skin from my back. Before reconstruction there was no oval scar. It was just a one line scar stitched across. I had two surgeries in this area because the surgeon did not get all of the cancer out the first time. This is when you learn what “all sides clean” means. It took two surgeries to get all sides clean.


2cm tumor was in there

Second was an axillary lymph node dissection. This is why my armpit farts. This surgery was to remove the affected lymph nodes. The combination of the first surgery and this surgery will tell the doctor the stage and grade of cancer.  For me it was Stage 3A breast cancer. The scar is about 2 inches above my finger in the middle of my armpit and runs horizontal.


15 lymph nodes removed from here, 8 infected.

Third, is a simple surgery compared to the first two. It’s short, sweet and to the point. In goes the port. The port connects to veins. It sticks out about a half an inch under the skin. This makes chemotherapy much more enjoyable. LOL.


Port inserted here

In 2009, I decided to have reconstructive surgery. That was 6 years later. It consisted of three separate surgeries;  implants to stretch the skin, Latissimus dorsi flap surgery, implant insertion and reconstruction of good boob to match reconstruction. This is the scar from where they removed skin to fill in the part that was taken out and where they moved muscle to form a “cup” for the implant.


Reconstruction scar

This has nothing to do with breast cancer. This is my ICD because I have LQTS2. It’s there to shock me if my heart beats too fast. It’s amazing that I survived cancer treatment because all of the medicine for breast cancer treatment is on the list of drugs I am not supposed to take.  The drugs that would cause a racing heart. Can you say Miracle?


ICD Scar

This is the scar from my most recent fight with Stage 4 breast cancer. This is from the pleurodesis. The surgeon took my lung out of the pleural lining and inserted talcum powder to adhere the lung to my rib cage. This was done to prevent my lung from collapsing due to excessive fluid. The small circle scar is where the drainage tube was inserted.


Pleurdesis scars

So these are my scars from breast cancer. I worked hard for these scars. My family worked hard for these scars. I’m glad they are there. I’m a survivor.

Don’t lose hope in the midst of craziness, keep your hope and carry the scars proudly!

Then be a good spark and spread that hope to others!


Glow With Fire

Fear and disgrace,

angst fills the soul,

dismay cancels spirit.

The emptiness of ego

is only what is believed.

Through aches and sorrows

one finds enjoyment and delight.

Laughter finds a smile;

an inspiration from on high.

Dive into the lake

and clean the soul.

Be changed forever.

The spark ignited the flame,

sustaining life with love.

Glow with fire.


My Farting Armpit

When I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2002 I underwent a few surgeries. First, a lumpectomy. Second, an axillary lymph node dissection. Third, inserting a port.

An axillary lymph node dissection is when they remove a bunch of lymph nodes to see how many are infected with cancer. To find out more click here.  I had 8 out of 15 infected. Because of this surgery my left armpit is hollowed out and farts on a whim.

and you, and you, and you

At first it was completely embarrassing. My face turned red every time. I found myself explaining that I did not fart and that it is my armpit making those noises. I would explain the surgery and some people would jokingly say, “it’s okay to fart, you don’t have to make up stories.” That always made me laugh. Still embarrassing.

Let alone, armpit farting

Anymore, I do not make excuses for my farting armpit. I see people look at me and wait for me to say,”excuse me.” Sometimes they even look at my butt as if wondering if my butt made that noise. But (no pun intended), I refuse to excuse my farting armpit especially since the fart has the potential to smell like a flower depending on the deodorant I am wearing at the time.

wild roses

Yes, 10-12 year old boys think I am the bomb. They love that my armpit farts by itself and I do not have to use my opposite hand to make the farting noise. I’m immediately the coolest person in the world.

Was cool? It is cool!

My husband knows that my armpit farts and every time it does I say, “that was my armpit,” as fast as I can. He always says that I do not have to make excuses for farting or says, excuse you. This is when I roll my eyes at him.

What is the “Good Spark” in all of this, you ask? It’s that some of my farts really do smell like roses and don’t be surprised if you get of whiff of that good spark fart.

Take time to smell the roses

Take time to smell the roses

Love, Nothing Else


the hidden spark

that grows inside

where all love abides

Love, nothing else

the truth is real

the breath of love

open your ears, heart, eyes

Love, nothing else

the energy that fills the soul

wants to move outward

share it, be it, love it

Love, nothing else

On Love and Tolerance

What is tolerance?

According to tolerance is a fair, objective, and permissive attitude toward those whose opinions, practices, race, religion,nationality, etc., differ from one’s own; freedom from bigotry.

Tolerance is overrated. The facts about tolerance are as follows:

1. A decision is made to dislike what a person stands for

2. A mental choice is made to accept that person regardless of the fact of ones own beliefs (tolerance)

3. Tolerance allows the person to continue believing they are right

I did a search for the words ‘tolerant’ and ‘tolerance’ at in the King James Version, New King James Version, and New International Version bibles and the following message appears each time:

Keyword search results
0 Results

Sorry, we didn’t find any results for your search.

The bible does not speak about tolerance.

Tolerance is a lazy word. It is the easy way out. Tolerance is fear. It causes people to stay at the surface of their issues and hold on to a belief system that may not be accurate, loving, or peaceful.

In order to have tolerance judgement has to occur. Who are we to judge another person just because their belief system differs? Anyone who says they are tolerant of another is judging in the quickest form. Isn’t is sad how quick we are to judge? It literally takes seconds, just a snap of the finger. It is not our job to judge others by what they do or who they are.  If a person feels that they have a need to be tolerant of another person the question a person should ask themselves is. “What is the underlying cause of my need to be tolerant of this person and what can I do to change this need for tolerance?” Do not fear change.

A person is not freeing themselves from bigotry because they choose to be tolerant. Tolerance is a symptom of bigotry, not the solution.  Even with a drug addiction tolerance is bad. Tolerance is not peaceful. It separates people. Honestly, does anyone like being tolerated? NO. Why would we want to tolerate others when we don’t like it ourselves? Has anyone ever felt a loving and peaceful feeling, in the heart, when tolerating someone or are we rolling our eyes in the midst of tolerance because we think we are right?

When an apple falls from the tree is the dirt tolerant of the apple? No, the dirt accepts the apple fully, loves the apple, then absorbs the apple into itself for nourishment. Someone you may feel the need to be tolerant towards may be the person you need to learn the greatest lessons from. Let them in and be nourished.

Do a search for the words ‘love’ and ‘peace’ at in the King James Version, New King James Version, and New International Version bibles and there are more than 400 results in each of the versions. Here is an example:

2 Timothy 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

So, what is the answer? It’s peace and love. We have to reach deep inside our hearts and evaluate ourselves. Find out why we have trouble loving everyone. Then, re-program our thinking. We must let go of the fear and allow ourselves to love. Love brings people together. We are human and it’s easier said than done. That’s understandable. Trying to make changes eventually leads to change.

To be a Good Spark involves using your inner power of love by setting aside all differences and choosing to love the Good Spark in others. I’m asking everyone to stop the judging, drop the word tolerance from their vocabulary, and choose to be a Good Spark and replace tolerance with peace and love.

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