When I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2002 I underwent a few surgeries. First, a lumpectomy. Second, an axillary lymph node dissection. Third, inserting a port.
An axillary lymph node dissection is when they remove a bunch of lymph nodes to see how many are infected with cancer. To find out more click here. I had 8 out of 15 infected. Because of this surgery my left armpit is hollowed out and farts on a whim.
At first it was completely embarrassing. My face turned red every time. I found myself explaining that I did not fart and that it is my armpit making those noises. I would explain the surgery and some people would jokingly say, “it’s okay to fart, you don’t have to make up stories.” That always made me laugh. Still embarrassing.
Anymore, I do not make excuses for my farting armpit. I see people look at me and wait for me to say,”excuse me.” Sometimes they even look at my butt as if wondering if my butt made that noise. But (no pun intended), I refuse to excuse my farting armpit especially since the fart has the potential to smell like a flower depending on the deodorant I am wearing at the time.
Yes, 10-12 year old boys think I am the bomb. They love that my armpit farts by itself and I do not have to use my opposite hand to make the farting noise. I’m immediately the coolest person in the world.
My husband knows that my armpit farts and every time it does I say, “that was my armpit,” as fast as I can. He always says that I do not have to make excuses for farting or says, excuse you. This is when I roll my eyes at him.
What is the “Good Spark” in all of this, you ask? It’s that some of my farts really do smell like roses and don’t be surprised if you get of whiff of that good spark fart.