Month: July 2013

forget the fight

I feel that this advice can help anyone. Just replace the word “cancer” with any tragedy and see if it works. Of course, I am speaking from my own experience from cancer.


To those of you who have cancer or know someone who is working on becoming a survivor; if you find the blessings of cancer, you truly are a survivor. It is not the fight, that is too exhausting. Don’t waste your time fighting cancer. It is a classroom in which you are the student in a life experience. Choosing to learn means you are choosing to survive. Look around you at this very moment and ask yourself, “What positive lesson do I have to learn from this experience?” Then pray on it, meditate on it, and your question will be answered. You will no longer be a victim, but you will be a survivor. You will be at peace. Then you’re able to forget the fight and concentrate on the lessons.  This will reduce stress and increase your well-being. Anyone can be a survivor, whether they have passed on or not. It’s because, a good attitude is never a sign of a victim. It’s a sign of a survivor.

It’s not the fight

that gives the lesson.

Become a willing student.

Learn from tragedy

Forget the fight.

Tragedy wants your happiness.

It wants to break you down.

Turn the tables.

Choose to learn.

Choose life and all the lessons.

Be positive.

Take the blessings of tragedy.

This makes you a warrior.

Then you are a survivor.



listen to your heart

My dear loved ones,

Follow the peace in your heart. Walk over the bridge to happiness. Learn to hear the words that are conveyed to you. Intelligence matters however, it is wisdom that portrays the love of people. Intelligence and knowledge are of earthly matters. Your lack of wisdom comes from not listening to your heart. It comes from using your head too much. Stop using your head and the nagging thoughts will dissipate. Those thoughts cause headaches, stomach aches, anxiety, depression. The list goes on. As long as you stay in your head, you will continue to abuse yourself in varying degrees. Wisdom is taught by the spirit inside. When you move in to your heart your body naturally will start to take care of itself and all your ailments will disappear. Listen to your heart and you will even know what kind of food to eat. You will have answers to the simplest and most complicated questions. Take this message to heart and start loving yourself everyday. Look at yourself in the mirror, deep into your eyes, and say, “I Love You.”


Walk across the narrow bridge

step firmly on your feet.

With confidence in your heart

keep walking forward.

Don’t look back, don’t look down,

keep focused, and move on.

If you feel scared, do not turn back.

Hold on tight, keep going,

you are almost there.

The end is the beginning.

The beginning was the end.

One more step onto solid ground.

Do you know what you just did?

You started over.

Move forward in new green places

with bright light shining down.

Do you feel the warmth

of goodness around your soul?

Welcome to your life!



The Good Spark

Get Into Your Heart

The roots that are in my mind are filled with clogged up ideas. I don’t really understand how these ideas came to be. Perhaps they were rules that were forced upon me or someone else’s standards. They surely are not my thoughts or my wishes. I would rather have a blank mind and use my heart to make decisions. If I used my heart more frequently, I’m sure that situations would turn out for the best of everyone. I know that this isn’t just me. A lot of people are like this. There is hope.


Using our mind to come to conclusions, win an argument, or in any act in which we are trying to feel better about ourselves doesn’t help any situation. The more we use our minds to show our love the more screwed up this world becomes. Love is not a mindful attitude. It is a heart filled expression. If we truly love from the heart there wouldn’t be chaos, arguments, sadness, the list goes on and on. Instead, we could see each other with patience, love,and, kindness. We would see each other through the eyes of the Lord.

It’s so hard for me to remember that the Lord lives within me. It’s hard to remember that the Lord lives within everyone. Even the atheist who doesn’t believe. Everyone is born with the Lord in their heart. I decided to start a visual experiment.  I am visualizing a picture of Jesus on the chest of everyone I encounter. It’s really cool, actually. It makes me realize how awesome every single individual is and how similar and different we are. Also, it helps me to see things as they really are, in the present moment. It helps me see people not in the past, not in the future, but as they are “right now”.


This experiment taught me three lessons. First, I believe it taught me the key to forgiveness. I’ve realized that my eyes see things as they are but it is my mind that puts meaning to objects and experiences. The only way my mind can assign a meaning to an object is from a past experience. So technically, our minds live in the past. If I look at a person without seeing my past experiences attached, there is not an experience, and I’m seeing them as who they are “right now”. This means that I have tricked my mind into forgiveness. This really means, I am seeing them with love from my heart. I was able to stop looking at people with judgement. I could stop allowing my mind to assign past experiences and start looking at people in the present and loving them now. That is truly forgiving and forgetting.


Another lesson I learned is that our minds can control our worries. Again, it’s because our minds base everything off of experience from the past. It wonders and causes us to worry about the future, based on ideas from the past. Sometimes I worry about retirement. I have no grounds to worry about it. But, all the commercials I see on TV make me worry. I have taken all the necessary actions to ensure a good flow of money. All this does is cause me to get in my head and worry about something that isn’t worth worrying about. If I remember to stay in my Christ centered heart. I stop worrying.

Third, I remembered that I used to look at everything in the present. We all did. We were born this way; to see everything brand new for the first time. It brings new meaning to the verse Matthew 18:3: And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. I’m not saying that we should be like children in the sense of not being responsible in our lives. I’m saying we should look at all of our experiences with our hearts and an open mind. Open mind meaning a blank mind without assigning past experiences to things.


Obviously, people should get out of the head and into the heart. Pull the dead roots out and start growing different fruits. This is not an easy task. However, once done we will be able to enjoy life to the fullest, and enjoy our present, and that is a PRESENT. That is your GOOD SPARK.



Although I do not remember

the beauty of your face

or even know the wonder

of your warm embrace.

I dream of seeing you

on a warm and glorious day

for when I get to see you

I will have found my way.

I know that I have trials

that I am forced to meet

I will bear the load

with strong and steadfast feet.

For I have chosen

the very simple task

the one that ensures

my life is ever last.

The moments in this life

are precious pure and kind

the blessings that I have

I truly do not mind.

Before I bid ado

to this life here on earth

I promise to be kind

and live in complete girth.

Until I am with you

I know you are in my heart

giving me direction

sweet spirit never part.

My future trials are truths

that I must learn to love

the learning from my gracious

sweet and loving Lord above.

Getting to Know Me, Getting to Know All About Me

Avoiding the blog. That is what I was doing this past week. I would write but not post. I was hiding from the blog. I wasn’t feeling good about anything I wrote. I thought I was having a block. But, really what was going on is that I was avoiding myself. I would only be able to write if I wrote about myself. I guess I needed to teach myself a lesson. It’s not like I want to open myself up and become naked to the world. However, there is something inside me that is forcing me to do this. Who knows, maybe there is someone who needs to read what I have to say.

Sometimes, I’m a stranger to myself.  The blockage I feel is not really a blockage at all. It’s me getting to know myself and realizing that I’m not used to feeling good for long periods of time. I am normally happy, but I’m always waiting for something to go wrong. That is abnormal. Honestly, I should stop categorizing myself as normal and abnormal. There really isn’t such a thing. No one is the same, so there is no such thing as normal. Sometimes I wonder who in the world came up with all these words that categorize ourselves. Anyway, I’ve noticed that nothing has gone wrong for a while now. I’m finding that this waiting for something to go wrong is senseless. It really sucks to put myself in such a negative place. I’m starting to become more positive and am finding out positive things about myself such as wife, mother, friend, teacher, and athlete.

It’s been a rough and crazy ride. I’m sure I’ve shown more than enough of my back side. It’s not like I haven’t wound up falling flat on my butt. I made a lot of bad decisions in my life. I can’t even count. Honestly, they don’t matter because it is all unwanted baggage that should be left behind. The lessons learned are what I carry with me. That is what really matters. There is no past that I can see worth taking a long with me. Only life lessons and life lessons are not baggage. I definitely succeeded because I took my lessons with me.

Sometimes I just wonder why people are so hard on themselves. Why would someone tell themselves something that intentionally hurts their well being. It seems very odd to me. Even I have questioned whether I am a good mother. Who cares? I know who cares, me. I had this belief that others thought I was a bad mother. Sometimes I believe that I just can’t keep up with the standards. But those standards are my own. I think we all believe, at some point, that others portray ourselves exactly how we perceive ourselves. It’s really strange, you know and completely untrue. Girl friends tell me that I am a good mother and I would say, “really?, I suck at being a mom.” I would be extremely surprised even though many people have said this to me.  I am realizing that I am a freaking awesome mom. I always have been and I must stop questioning my ability as a mom. However, isn’t that one of the attributes that makes me a good mom? Motherhood is so confusing sometimes.

I’m so hard on myself. I am an over achiever. Which makes matters worse. An over achiever always wants to do better. That is where I get satisfaction. If I want to run a mile, I will run a mile and a half just to prove to myself I’m better than I thought. Therefore, this makes me competitive by nature.

Then there is my frustrated, anxious, quiet side. I make an anxiety/frustration bubble. No one can penetrate the bubble. I get anxious about dealing with things. I stay in the bubble protecting myself from outside negative forces. Sometimes I would like to pull my hair out because I get so frustrated. I can be such a loner. I end up finding unity in solitude, which can be a positive thing. Sometimes I will not answer the phone or re-schedule appointments to avoid being around people. I’m such a baby! I can jump to conclusion about the smallest things. Sometimes my anxiety/frustration gets the best of me.

I find solace in nature. I love nature. I actually feel really close to myself when I am outside. This is probably why I love riding bikes, walking and running, hiking, and taking pictures of nature. I am so happy when I’m outside. If I am cooped up, I am not living. If I am not living, I am  not happy. I have to “hug the trees’. Getting ‘outdoor time’ allows me to see people as they really are, I start to see me. I start to see every one and every thing as beauty. I am easily loved and love comes easy.

I’m still growing inside. Growing never ends. Learning never ends. I’m beginning to realize that I’m not that different from other people. We all have our weirdness and we all have our gifts and talents. I am starting to understand myself in so many ways. I’m grasping the fact that I’m pretty awesome. I’m a creative, intellectual, athlete who loves and cares for family and friends. Not to mention, I am somewhat of a warrior. Mental strength and focus are my best attributes. I’m always able to see the light at the end of the tunnel.


I wouldn’t change me for anything. I wouldn’t change my trials or my peaceful moments. I believe I’m right where I am supposed to be. No regrets. I chose to learn from every thing that comes before me and therefore I chose the right. Total happiness.


cancer war~CANCER~

waves of emotion engulfs the body

weighed down by a ‘heaviness’

the future is uncertain

heart wrenching fear

no one understands

total confusion

say good bye to the body

say good bye to the mind

and hello to the heart

faith overcomes doubt

bravery overcomes fear

love overcomes anger

a survivor appears

a warrior in pink

always moves forward

living in freedom of strength

in the hopes of tomorrow

and the faith of today

don’t look back

the journey is ahead

jump, skip, laugh, love, run

the future IS clear


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