I am having trouble with what to write for the past couple of days. Sometimes, it is really hard to stay positive and that is what this blog is all about. You know?
The other day, I caught myself day dreaming. My thought was, “What if cancer is just a really bad strain of the flu?” “If it is, surely there will be a vaccine for this in my lifetime.” Sigh.
Chemo makes me so tired at the end of a cycle, it changes my brain. I’m in a day dream fog. Just three more days. Lesson learned the past couple of days; do not plan anything because more than likely there will be no energy to do anything.
Oy vey (hitting my forehead), I have an appointment at Bob’s Gym tomorrow morning for a fitness review. (Sucking it up) I’m still going. I need motivation.
I am unmotivated and that drives me crazy, I have to remember not to expect a lot out of myself during the second week of chemo. One step at a time, one step at a time, one step at a time. I am being forced to slow down. If you know me, you have to know that I am going crazy under my skin!!! I think I am going to scream in my pillow now. Sickness makes you get to know yourself in ways only a survivor can understand. Just three more days.
Here is something positive. I read in a book called A Year of Living Biblically.
Get it? It is how to pray or meditate or whatever. This book is both hilarious and honest.
Hugging myself and sending hugs to you.