Month: January 2015

All It Takes Is Believing


Play-doh…kids just make whatever they want and always believe everything they make is awesome. When do adults quit believing everything they do is awesome? When does that happen? Does it happen because another child breaks us? Does it happen when a parent inadvertently plants the idea that the child could do much better? Does it happen when we lose the ability to see the beauty of life? There could be so many reasons why adults lose their inner child and start to believe that they just can’t be good enough or smart enough to manage to pull off the impossible. Just making playdoh pancakes becomes a thing of the past and our brains are rewired to believe we might not be capable of being or doing the impossible.

Everyone has the ability to make a difference in their own lives and the lives of many people in the world. Lets start to believe that we can heal ourselves because we can. We can seek help, we can make changes. All it takes is believing. The belief that something greater than us is always working on our side, cheering us on, to fight the fight, and win. When we become winners in a race that seems impossible; we become triumphant. We become winners. We become people who can make a difference in others lives. We are people who can help others triumph over all trials. We can start to work together to make everyone feel better. When we learn to win, when we learn to love ourselves, when we realize the benefits of endurance, it changes us. When we are changed, we are able to teach others to endure.

So lets remold ourselves into any shape we want to be. Lets make ourselves into the most colorful creation possble, just like a child molds playdoh. Lets learn to use our hands and work hard to make a creation within us. Lets cut off the uneven parts and roll out the dough to a flat smoothe surface ready to take on any project that comes at us. We can make the most defined person we could possibly be. We can roll our selves out to be tiny little snakes, spaghetti, pancakes….and apparently, as I watch my own child playing and dancing, we can even turn ourselves into rainbows. Imagine what you want to be and become who you really are.

Even though we go through trials; with vision, imagination, action, endurance, and belief we can become what we are meant to be and make the world a better place.

Matthew 8:13 And Jesus said unto the centurion, Go thy way; and as thou hast believed, so be it done unto thee. And his servant was healed in the selfsame hour.

Matthew 21:22 And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.

Mark 9:23 Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth.

Remember, all it takes is believing and anything can happen.

Much love,

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Inspiration For Obedience

I needed a darker back ground for my phone. It is because with a white back ground I can’t see the date or whether the phone is charging.  I decided  to seek out quotes that had a gray of black back ground. I found a quote with a darker back ground and it is written by one of my favorite people. The quote is by Dieter F. Uchtdorf. I am pretty sure he is from Germany. It seems that every quote he writes or every book he writes speaks straight  to me.

It is amazing how many countries that my church lives. It is amazing  how many countries our missionaries can go to spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ. It is also amazing how many caring and educated men lead my church towards the foundation of Jesus Christ. It is amazing how many giving, smart, caring women that teach and give their time for children an all women and their families to rise above the temporal world to live righteous lives. For that I am extrememly thankful for.

It is not easy being LDS in an environment where children grow up seeing propaganda in their parents church or they have parents that teach them only what they want to teach. One time, I actualy picked up a pamphet written by Charles Stanley that was propaganda and I had the church remove any type of propoganda from the front foyer. I’ve been told I do not celebrate Christmas. Although the whole existance of my church is based on the gospel of Jesus Christ. I’ve been asked if I celebrate biirthdays. That I am completely confused about. I’ve been told I have horns. In my opnion I believe that many people in my area claim to know what the bible says but, when I quote the bible I am questioned as if I am trying to fool them. Even though I can literally find the passage. I’ve been accused that I believe that I will get my own planet to make babies for eternity and that all my church believes is that women are only baby makers and have to have perrmission from husband’s to do anything. I am equal to my husband and we become one when married. Notice I said husband, were are not polygamists! I live in an area where people read propganda before they will ask me any questions and then all I get, is what I call people posessed with evil spirits, arguing with me about religion which in my church is a completely unacceptable for members to argue about religion or how people should worship God.

My church is awesome. I am so grateful for my church that I actuallly well up inside. I don’t know what I would do without my church family. They try to understand or at least make a tremendous effort to show empathy towards me and  my situation. They would never shove people under the bus. They always help when anyone needs anthing. They show up at the hospital and give me blessings. They come to my house and give me blessings. I have two beautiful ladies that come to my house to teach me a lesson on faith every month and they are always a phone call away if I need anything. One time I called one of them because I was in a lot of pain. She rubbed my back until her hands hurt, she made me a PBJ that was so good {probably because it was almost 5 years since I had one}. Then she did all my dishes and of course said a prayer with me before she left. I love my brothers and sisters in Christ andd I know they love me and every single person in my family. I always feel safe and secure at church. Every child I teach is very smart. I know that every person prays for me and I know that they pray hard with a lot of faith. They cook me dinnner, bring the youth to mow and clean my yard, fold my laundry….they are just so awesome. I love being a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Ladder Day Saints.

I’m also thankful for my neighbors who find the time during the day to cook me dinner. I have a friend from another church {i do the books} who has taken me to every chemo appointment. Baby sits my little one. Checks on my 16 year old. I am sure she gives them a lot of comfort because she does that for me and my husband is thankful for the time she spends making sure I am alright. She has also cleaned my house, made me an omelet, folded and put away my laundry, and so many other things. She is one awesome lady.

My family is the greatest. Although the therapy can make me tired, grumpy, and angry; I hope they reailze that they are the most important people in my life. Including my mom, aunts, uncles, and cousins. Ryne had to grow up very fast and take care of me and his brother. He is really great and wise beyond his years. I tell Parker everytime I feel better and he always comes to me with “healing hugs”. My husband is a hard man to read and he is very difficult to talk to understand. He is just not like any man in the whole universe. I can see his heart softening and when I say , “I love you,” I mean it more than ever before. He tries so hard to handle work and me and kids. I can imagine it can be quite stressful. This is why my darling daughter got us gifft cards for dates. Which are needed so much. One more thing, my husband gives the best hugs and kisses.

As always, I know that having the “C” word allows patients to see the true colors in other people. I know who are true and who are not. I’ve learned that these people need to be appreciated and prayed for and that is what I do.

I am happy where I am and as Dieter Uchtdorf said, “Love is the measure of our faith, the inspiration for our obedience, and the true altitude of our discipleship.”

I want to say thank you to every one who has helped me. Your loving gifts, in any form, have abolished fear and doubt and bring me to an uplifted state; which is where I deserve to be.

Thank you with much love,


This is my articles of faith. Maybe they will offend you. Maybe your heart will be softened by the kindness of our Lord Jesus Christ.

1 We believe in God, the Eternal Father, and in His Son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost.

2 We believe that men will be punished for their own sins, and not for Adam’s transgression.

3 We believe that through the Atonement of Christ, all mankind may be saved, by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the Gospel.

4 We believe that the first principles and ordinances of the Gospel are: first, Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ; second, Repentance; third, Baptism by immersion for the remission of sins; fourth, Laying on of hands for the gift of the Holy Ghost.

5 We believe that a man must be called of God, by prophecy, and by the laying on of hands by those who are in authority, to preach the Gospel and administer in the ordinances thereof.

6 We believe in the same organization that existed in the Primitive Church, namely, apostles, prophets, pastors, teachers, evangelists, and so forth.

7 We believe in the gift of tongues, prophecy, revelation, visions, healing, interpretation of tongues, and so forth.

8 We believe the Bible to be the word of God as far as it is translated correctly; we also believe the Book of Mormon to be the word of God.

9 We believe all that God has revealed, all that He does now reveal, and we believe that He will yet reveal many great and important things pertaining to the Kingdom of God.

10 We believe in the literal gathering of Israel and in the restoration of the Ten Tribes; that Zion (the New Jerusalem) will be built upon the American continent; that Christ will reign personally upon the earth; and, that the earth will be renewed and receive its paradisiacal glory.

11 We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may.

12 We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law.

13 We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul—We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.

Curvy Path of the C word

I called my oncologist this morning to get my blood test results to see if I was going to need a transfusion. Apparently, the stick I got in my port was for nothing because they didn’t even do the right test. I thought cbc was pretty common but whatever.

Then the nurse said, “I have your scan results though.” I was like, WHAT???!!!!. I was not ready for that. She said that I have significant change compared to last scan. Then I said with much apprehension,”like what?” She gave me the sizes. After doing the numbers, while still talking to the nurse, I said, “that is 88%.” Then she said, “is it?” Then I said, “does that mean I am in partial remission?” YES!!!! IT DOES.

She then said the small nodules on the pleura had a significant change. She also said my bones are still stable, and there is no evidence of the C word on any organs.

Of course a huge Thank You to God was said with great relief.

I have been here before, other than the better percentage…I have been here before. I wanted to be happy, but was reluctant. I even cried on the phone with my husband. Why am I not feeling this happiness? C is a very devious thing. Ben was talking about just think about now. And right now this is great news.

Then I talked to my daughter. I realized what C can do to me. It controls me. It causes me to believe I have to keep doing everything right because C is in control. I felt like I was serving the C.

Then I realized that one cannot have two masters. So I asked myself, “am I going to continue to serve something devious or am I going to chose God?” No one can serve two masters. C causes me to have doubt and fear on my mind constantly, consciously and subconsciously. Then I thought why am I serving fear? It is hard to serve God and then serve fear. It can’t be done parallel to each other. I can do one at one point and switch to the other at another point. If you think about it, that is a crazy path. Maybe that is why it says in the bible that you can not serve two masters. First, because it can’t be done together. Second, it is good advice because if you try; your path is wicked curvy and long, full of dismay then hope. Back and forth, what a headache that causes.

Anyway, got off track. This is something us C word folk learn to adjust to. Thanking God then waiting for the next bad news. It kind of sucks to have good news and then immediately think, “what is coming around the corner next, get prepared to retaliate.” I have not confronted the C word. I have only been retaliating. As I am not a confronter at heart, I normally retaliate.

This is the time that I chose to serve one master and that is God. I will be happy. I will continue to be a miracle. I will be strong. I will make the right choices. I will finish out the therapy and move forward on the right path. I am confronting the C word and God is at the helm.


P.S. here is my new puppy, Perry.I get to bring him home in a week


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