I always turn harder to my faith when I haven’t been feeling well. This is only one persons opinion. Several months ago my husband and I were talking on the way home from town. He said that everything is made by God, but I interrupted and said that the bad things of the world were not, like when people choose to do something bad because they chose to listen to Satan.
Recently, I came to the realization that God inspired man to come up with a system of exchange. I don’t believe he came to Earth and set up a money factory, but I do believe that God knew the coming of the times and that we would need money. So therefor, I believe God inspired, through other people’s hands to create a system, for the betterment of mankind. There was an exchange system in the bible; talents and pounds and many more and there still is.
Whether it was pounds, talents, nickels, dimes, quarters, or paper money. No where in the bible does it say that money is the root of all unhappiness. It just isn’t. It is at the root of a child needing money for cancer treatment, it is at the root of adults needing cancer treatment, it is at the root of a newlyweds honeymoon. The only time money is bad is when it is misused and not managed well.
The other day I was talking to my husband and he said that he wasn’t sure the God created money. Only God has the power to create, either through his own hands or by the hands of others. To even consider that Satan has equal powers to God, in the department of creation, is insane. Satan can not create anything. All Satan can do is entice people to sin by putting thoughts in our heads. That is his eternal mission to take out mankind, to get us to sin.
Then I was reading about the parable of the ten servants and the ten pounds in Luke 19:21-27. Not to be confused with another parable in Matthew about 3 servants given talents (which were extremely expensive, like the highest amount of worth back in the day). A pound was worth 3 months wages.
Back to Luke 19:21-27. There is a Lord over some servants and he was going out of town and asked his servants to take care of business while he was gone. First of all, the citizens did not like their ruler. However, the first man increased his pound by 10x and was rewarded 10 cities. The second increased by 5x and was rewarded 5 cities. The next inreased by nothing on top of that he judged his Lord of being harsh. The Lord said, you knew I was harsh, yet chose not to do what I asked of you. Then said the he would judge the servant for judging him. Basically, the Lord over the servant said, if you knew I was a harsh man then why didn’t you do business. Then the the one pound was given to the servant who made 10.
Then the following verse pops up: Luke 19:26 For I say unto you, That unto every one which hath shall be given; and from him that hath not, even that he hath shall be taken away from him. This sounds like if you have, more will be given and if you have not, less will be given and also be taken away. I think it’s because we are meant to have to work for our money. According to this the servant who did not do the business as asked was then given less and i imagine the same went for any of the other ten servants.
So is money bad? I don’t believe it is, if in the right hands. I do believe God’s hand was involved in making money. I do not believe having money is a sin. What I do believe is money is a very powerful tool and if left in the wrong hands (a person who is listening to Satan) it can ruin lives. Which is what it means when you put another God (money) before the one true God. I personally do not believe in hoarding money. I believe there should be plans made with it or invested properly. Just like the servant who increased his pound 10x.
I believe that stuff worth money around the house, that is not being used, should be given to goodwill or some other charity so that others may be able to enjoy. After all, if a person can have something to enjoy they should be rewarded for their hard work. For people who can’t work, God will bless them for their righteous efforts. It should be carried on like a domino effect. Paying it forward. Righteous efforts are paying it foward.
I believe the stigma about money out here in the bible belt, was made up by some bible thumping (insert religion here).
On top of everything else, I believe there is another lesson to be learned from the parable. The stronger your faith, the more blessings you receive, because you notice them. The weaker your faith, the more blessings you are less likely to notice.
One more thing, just so everyone knows, Satan has no powers that are equivalent to the creator. He can’t create anything. Satan can whisper lies to you and as I said before and I will say it again, if the holy ghost is strong within you, Satan will not be able to persuade you to do wrong. Satan causes less blessings but when you listen to the Holy Ghost you don’t have to worry because you will choose what is right and your reward is more blessings because of gratitude.
I use Amazon all the time. My account is set up. It is easy and simple and I get quality product at my doorstep. I even get free shipping. I like to use 6pm for buying clothes and shoes, occasionally. My account is set up. It is easy and simple and I get quality product at my door step. I use other sites too, but these two are the ones I use most often. I’ve used swim outlets, running stores, cycling stores. They all have the same things in common; I have an account. It is easy and simple. I get quality product at my doorstep.
If I can go on line and click a button without having anything tangible in my hands, and know without a doubt that I will receive the product, I should know immediately that a prayer will be answered?
The store is like God, it has everything I need. The account is set up, he knows me. There is a button to click, so all I have to do is ask. My product will be at my door, so I believe, unwaveringly, that my product will come. I ask myself what I want. I seek out my desire. I click (sounds like a knock) a button. Then I get what I want. All I have to do is wait. I know what I want is coming. I don’t even think about it again until, BOOM, there it is right in front of me, at my front door. Boom; oh my gosh, yey, I have what I ordered. Now that is service.
If I can trust these online stores and not waiver. Then surely, I can trust God will answer my prayers. That I only have to ask once. Only one time. No need for repeats. God will answer the prayer because God is Great.
Faith takes work. Believing. When a prayer is answered, it will be better than any online store could offer. Sometimes items are returned. Answered prayers are never returned. It is because they are designed specifically to be greater than what was asked for. Answered prayers are greater than any box at the front door.
I’m seriously having trouble seeing any good sparks today. I’m a stupid person with a lot of faith. I love my Heavenly Father, I love Jesus Christ but I’m beginning to believe that religion is evil. It causes people to judge, be hypocrites, it puts limits on God, and lets face it we rely on imperfect but inspired men to write scriptures. How do we know that they were in the right frame of mind when these inspired books were written? How do we know? We don’t, it takes a huge amount of faith.
Not to mention, some books were removed, verses were changed. I’ve read the Latin Vulgate with English translation. The verses are a little bit different from the king James version and are definitely different from the New International Version. Then again, there is a reason behind this…it’s because they were translated by imperfect men, inspired by God. You know what that means? It means that an imperfect man has to keep himself very perfect to translate the words of God correctly. No man is perfect but Christ!!!
So this means that all inspired books are written by imperfect men.
It’s really hard to always see Good Sparks. It really is. There is so much hate in the world. There is too much ignorance. There is not enough faith. There are children being murdered. Satan tears apart the family unit. There is sickness every where. Our food is harmful. No one really appreciates anyone. There are dead animals on the sides of the road. There are butterflies being hit by windshields. Caterpillars squashed. Pets are hit by cars. Homeless people walking streets. Drug addiction. Wars. Hatred. Fighting. UGH!!
I want to jump forward in time to 2013. However, everything that has happened prior to 2013 has made me the person I am today. Here is another short story from the past.
My dad fought cancer for 4 years. I do not remember much about him. I do believe I was daddy’s girl and his death was traumatic and the after effects hurt for a very long time. Children do not ever get over a parents death. He died on April 15, 1979. That was Easter Sunday. Apparently, I thought my dad would be coming back and I asked when my new daddy would be here. I am sure the reason why I asked that was because it was Easter and I thought that my dad would come back in 3 days. At the time, it probably was the worst thing to say but I am sure of the reasoning behind. Now that I am a mom, I realize that at the age of seven, children still do not understand the concept of death. Nevertheless, it was sweet that I thought he was going to be “resurrected”.
I remember three things about the wake. My grandpa was on the left of me, he was staring at a pink flower, and he never stopped frowning. My grandma was on the right of me, she was shaking very bad and streams of heavy tears fell from her cheeks. Last, I consciously decided that I never wanted to hurt as much as my grandma did. Therefore, I decided to stare like my grandpa. That was child-like thinking at its best.
Soon after my brother, my mom, and I got on a plane and flew back to New York. I remember one thing from the flight. There was a man on the plane that asked my mom about the flowers she was holding. She told him that her husband died. Then the man looked at me and I smiled.
I felt lonely without my dad and after his death; no one ever spoke about him. We stopped going to church. I longed for him. From a very young age, I would pray to God that he would send me a boy to protect me. I prayed for this very often. Please God, send me a boy that loves me. I need a boy who loves me. I need a boy who will protect me. As I grew the prayer changed to, sending me a man.
Eventually, I escaped from New York and joined the Army. I met a boy and married him. God finally answered my prayer. He believed in God and went to church his whole life. He brought me back to church after a 17-year absence. However, that marriage was explosive and to be honest, you marry what you know and I knew chaos and abuse. The marriage was so bad that I would continue the prayer of old days. I would also pray that I would get sick so he would have to take care of and protect me.
I truly believe that God loves me so much that he gave me free will to decide what path I choose. I chose the environment in which I lived. However, my choice was rewarded. He loved me so much, that even though that marriage was not the best, he knew that I would eventually come back to HIM while in this marriage.That is free will at its best. He made a horrible experience into something good. I know that divine intervention played a large part in my life at this time. Yes, my husband did leave me in the most desperate moment. If he stayed, I would have never reached deep down in my soul and found the strength to live. He had to leave me or he would have killed me. Not murdered me, but I do not know anyone that believes I would have survived cancer if he did not leave. That is why I had to go to California.
When I got back from California, I focused on getting back to normal. I met a new man. Started going to church with him. One day, I realized something. That old prayer I repeatedly asked so many times, the prayer for a boy/man, it was answered a long, long time ago. Ironically, I prayed for a man who already protected and took care of me. He also died for all of my sins. God loved me so much that he sent me his son and that prayer was answered long before I ever prayed. It was right there in front of me the whole time. We are unconditionally loved by God and Jesus. HE took care of all and He was protecting me the whole time. He protected me in abusive environments. He protected me through cancer. He carried me when I was too weak to move one. He gave me strength. He sent friends to help me. He gave me the strength to move. He protects me now and protected me throughout my entire life. Divine Intervention is AWESOME (sing it)!
When I got cancer the first time, in 2002, I immediately wondered if I would live. I wanted to live; I wanted to be a survivor. My situation was not exactly the best. There was a lot of drama going on in my life and marriage. My husband left me. His family tried to take my children away from me because I was not well enough to take care of my children. Of course, I was not. First, where did my husband go? Secondly, how was I supposed to take care of my children while undergoing several surgeries and eventually starting chemotherapy?
I am so thankful for friends. They cleaned my surgery sites. They took care of my children. One of my friends even organized a benefit in my honor and raised over $4000. On top of all that, the church I attended paid my bills. Even my mother sent me money. People visited me whom I never met to give me hope and help. Dinner showed up at my house practically every day. The amount of cards I received covered the front doorway. Flowers were sent. Even Santa came to my house to visit my children. The company I worked for set me up with fmla and gave me a leave of absense. Even my boss helped in getting that taken care of. I was so blessed to see that the tragedy of cancer made me feel so much love.
There came a time that I had to leave. There was no denying it. I called my aunt and told her everything that was going on with my husband and his family. She told me to drive there, NOW. She said not to pack, get the kids, and drive to Kansas, NOW. Most cancer survivors realize doing this on the third day after chemo is very hard to do but I did it. I told the school there were appointments. I put my children in a car. I went to an abused women’s center. I told them what I was doing and then I left Illinois and drove to Kansas.
All the way to Kansas, my daughter and I would pray. Each time we finished praying we would see signs on the highway like, Jesus Saves. Once we were in St. Louis, we prayed again asking to know for sure we were doing the right thing. Then I looked a head and I saw a license plate that was from San Jose, CA. This was to be our final destination. We never questioned whether were doing the right thing again.
We spent the night in Kansas and then in the morning boarded a plane for San Jose. We were welcomed with opened arms at my other aunts. We would spend 6 months in CA.
Three days later, I finally called my husband to tell him where we were, as I told no one where I was going. He was very mad. However, I deserved better. Eventually, he tried to have me arrested for kidnapping. As I said earlier, I went to an abused women’s shelter before we left Illinois. I have no idea why I decided to go there. My guess is divine intervention. Therefor, because I went there and told them what I was doing, no one could have me arrested for kidnapping.
I decided at that moment to try to understand what kind of life lessons I could learn from cancer. The first lesson was faith. Faith makes miracles happen.
I believe the whole experience to get to California happened because of divine intervention. Without divine intervention, I would not be here right now enjoying my life with my now older children, my new husband, and our 4-year-old son.
Check back soon for more about my cancer journey.