Be The Very Best

Being a patient you learn the truth about some things and one of those things is that you really are supposed to put yourself first here on Earth. It is not being of the world, it is being in the world using the prophetic knowledge of our savior Jesus Christ, the smartest man who ever walked the face of the Earth. Being in the world is ok because Earth is our temporary home. Being of the world is putting tangible things before God.

There is no way we can serve with the greatest magnitude unless we love and take care of our selves first. If one doesn’t take care of oneself, one is not able to listen to the prompting of the Holy Spirit to serve for God. Like when people are mean or nasty to everyone. The Holy Spirit/God cannot be present, there isn’t goodness. So, the only way one is able to serve is to love thyself. That causes us to be able to hear God. Im not saying God doesnt use everyone for his work. I am saying that if you arent in a good mind, you wont listen to God, you’ll choose the wrong instead of choosing the right, and it is because you are not being love. Therefor, you are causing yourself to be alone without the ability of discernment and not in the presence of God. It is your choice. One cannot love completely with out having the presence of love in your heart. The same as the presence of God. You have to allow love in first in order to love your neighbr

You love others as you love yourself. Matthew 22:39-Love your neighbor as yourself. You have to love yourself to love your neighbor properly. That scripture has multiple meanings. It also means you are going to treat your neighbor the same way you treat yourself. How good do you feel after a warm, relaxing bath? That same good feeling is how you will treat your neighbor; in a relaxed and refreshed manner.

John 15:12 This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. This tells how to love our neighbor and also gives us a clue on how to hear God when we are needed to serve for God. Jesus said love just as I love you because he is giving us a short parable. Love so I can talk to you and you can hear me. 

It really bothers me when I make a decision that is good for me, then it makes someone else mad. Trust me, I’ve been accused of being selfish. Others may say, “go ahead, I know it is all about you, I know.” Then stomp away. I am not going to let it bother me any more. Just because I am an individual with different needs does not mean I don’t care. It does not mean that I will step on people to get what I want. It means that I am trying to improve myself and it has nothing to do with any one else but me. There is not one person in this world that is exactly like me. I will always work at loving myself so I can love others. Isn’t that the first step to wellness?

When you leave yourself behind, you get sick.


Just as Jesus Christ said to do, follow Matthew 22:39 and John 15:12.
If you havent understood anything i wrote remember this:

I hope this made sense. Lately I have noticed that I am scatter brained and it is flowing over into writing.


The Spirit of Giving

As I was sitting at a dinner table surrounded by adults and my youngest 6 year old child a conversation started developing. It was a conversation about who told who that Santa is not real. All of a sudden I whispered to my husband, “Why are they talking about this?” Finally, someone pointed out that the conversation had to stop. I quickly changed the conversation to the fact that my son made a motion detector and he plans on putting it out by the tree so when Santa comes he will trip it off and a very load sound will awake everyone and we would be able to see Santa. ***Note to self, disconnect wire, no one should ever see Santa.

I was thinking about this whole Santa Clause thing. I have kids that are 21, 16, 6, a grandchild who is 1, and another on the way. So far, my oldest kids are the ones who have asked me whether Santa Clause was real. Then it donned on me, I have never told my children that Santa Clause was not real.

When they asked me, I told them this:

“I believe in the spirit of giving. St. Nicholas or Santa Clause is the epitomy of selfless giving. I believe in the spirit of giving and you can decide what you want to believe in too.” This is all I ever said to my older kids.

I believe that teaching kids of about Santa Clause (the spirit of giving) teaches so many lessons. Especially, if you do it right. Always ask the children what they think Santa and the reindeer would like to eat. Let them know that there is going to be a lot of cookies that Santa eats and he is going to be very tired. I let them decide what to leave out. I believe that not only is this teaching a child empathy but, it also teaches them to show that they are thankful that Santa included them in his journey.

St. Nicholas or Santa Clause teaches us about selfless giving. Santa is an all around giver. Parents naturally want to teach selfless giving to their children.

If you want to take it in a more Christian way. The spirit of giving comes straight from God. He gave us the greatest gift.  For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life (John 3:16) .

If you look at Christmas as just a bunch of gift giving, technically it is. (Just not the insane materialistic kind.) The gift giving can represent the gift God gave us, it can represent the gifts from the wise men. It is a completely and totally a Christian Holiday. The tree can represent the night sky, the lights on the tree are the stars in the sky. The star or angel on top of the tree is a sign of the good news that was brought into the world. Christmas ornaments represent all the blessings we will now receive because Jesus came into the world so that we may not suffer for our sins. This is the ultimate gift and the ultimate spirit of giving.

I believe in the spirit of giving. No one can ever change my mind about that. The spirit of giving lives on forever. As long as I believe in the spirit of giving, I believe in a God that gives us many blessing on a daily basis.

I always find ways to teach my kids about the spirit of giving all year long. It just doesn’t have to happen at Christmas. Christmas represents the gift of peace to all in the world. Easter represents the gift of forgiveness to all in the world.

So this holiday season give the gifts of peace and forgiveness.

Great faith, great lessons

Hey there.

I am in between my 8 and 9 round of chemo, 2000 mg a day (this is a lower dose than usual and I was started on 3500 in the beginning as the doctor was shocking my system. He is an awesome doctor). I had a partial hysterectomy 6 weeks ago.

Anyway, I think I have symptoms of hearing loss. My ears are constantly ringing too. I do have allergies, but this is different. The ringing changes in frequency. You know how your ears don’t work as well after an AC/DC, Pink Floyd, Robert Plant, Ozzy, Rush, or Grateful Dead concert. I’m sure there are more, you get the point. Although, it also sounds the same as the time I shot my M16 and failed to wear ear plugs…woops.

I have a sever joint pain. Every one of my joints throb. The kind that makes me think it could be rheumatoid arthritis. My muscles hurt horribly. I have side pain and also upper abdominal pain. The pain that makes me want to start self diagnosing myself on WebMD.

There are times when I cannot sit still and have no energy to move. Yet I press on through the Little House on the Prairie marathon. Which is everyday on the Hallmark Channel.

It appears that I lost my finger prints. I’m sure my toe prints are missing too. I haven’t checked although I will not doubt myself. My oncologist told me I could rob a bank and they would never get my finger prints. I assured him I would never do this.

My lower back hurts. My hips hurt and the psoas. However, today when I was working with my trainer (who is also my friend), while laying on my back, doing hip thrusts, it donned on me. It has been a long time since I had sex. That was funny…. and not so funny at the same time.

My neck hurts it causes headaches and it seems to be connected to my ears. You know how your neck hurts from head banging and dancing in mosh pits? That is the kind I hurt I mean.

I was craving Buffalo Wings and potato chip chocolate and rocky road chocolate. I actually waited in town, pretending to have an errand to run, until Buffalo Wild Wings opened. I ate 5 of them on the way home.

All of these things remind me, on a daily basis that I have metasticized breast cancer. That is one of the hardest things to get anyone to understand; that I feel like all of the pain through out my whole life, encapsulates my body and I suffer from pain without end. I have to write about this because if I don’t, I will go crazy on all the people who are failing to understand this. This is the type of pain that starts with the first diagnosis. This gradually, gets better over time, but it never completely goes away. This is the pain I feel.

I understand that I have tons of blessings too. But, is it so hard to realize that I have trouble seeing them? It’s not that I just scraped my leg on the path to my elementary school, or my dad died when I was 7, or hit my head on the ground, on a cast iron stove, the end of a balance beam, soccer balls, or at the bottom of the pool. It isn’t that I didn’t go through all that normal teen stuff. But, For crying out loud; my dad dies, all of my grand parents die, no to mention a wonderful cousin. I got a lovely divorce too. Look what I just wrote…see how hard it is for me to see my blessings? I am so darn sensitive that I am off the Richter scale.

I do know my blessings. All of the above is relative. They are things I hardly ever think about. It is because it is not me. Yes, my experiences mold me and it is possible to make the wrong mold. However, I can change my mold. I can change my spirit. I learned that unhappiness does not matter. It is not what happens to me, it is what I do to make life happen for someone else.

This is who Jesus turns me into. Into a loving, caring, giving, inspiring, smart, beautiful woman. I changed the mold because I choose the right. I choose Jesus because he chose me first. Jesus gave me the best option and I took it immediately. There is nothing like knowing who you are, where you come from. and what is your purpose. There is nothing like truly seeing people for who they are. It is a gift. There is nothing like truly seeing who I am.

This is why I am still okay. It is because I understand the fullness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I entered into a covenant with my Heavenly Father. I believe I will not parish because I believe Jesus truly died for all of my sins whether I remember them all or not. And as long as I repent for everything that understand I was wrong, I will have everlasting life. Because I know this, I can live life to the fullest and not have fear of the world. I will fail and I will repent, therefor I will be saved.

This is what gets me through my days. It is strength, courage, love peace, patience, hope, and most of all faith. Faith in Jesus and faith in myself. This is working for me. It requires a lot of support. It requires letting the bad go and stepping into the light, Then keeping it for as long as you can. It is work. Life is not for the weak. Especially with cancer. However, I know it could be worse….there could be starving children in China.

I know that one day I will die. I seriously doubt it will be from any type of illness or disease. Which means all this exercising and eating right will pay off and I will be very old when I die. It means that my prayers are being answered according to my faithfulness. Those with great faith have great lessons. This was a great lesson. What a ride.

Just Be

This verse speaks to me. It applies to materialism.

No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon. – Matthew 6:24

When you have two masters you depend on opposites to get you through life. You begin to hate one and love the other. Hate, love, hate, love…When you serve two masters you are stuck in a cycle of abuse that you create.

When you don’t choose the kingdom of God (which is within you) you end up idolizing material things and losing your self.

Neither shall they say, Lo here! or, lo there! for, behold, the kingdom of God is within you. – Luke 17:21

When you choose the kingdom of God you come into the spirit and automatically have love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. You come in to your true being. 

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. – Galatians 5:22-23

Give in and let God transform your experiences.Just Be.


priceless love

The more spiritually involved I am the more tender-hearted I become. I know that people will begin to work together as equals to make our world a better place. Mankind will become aware of their servant spirit and project love into the world through acts of kindness. We will realize that we are sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father; we are brothers and sisters to Jesus. We have great potential to be just like Jesus, because everyone’s spirit is from Heavenly Father.

Here is a brief history of our spirituality.

Jesus wanted a plan of salvation that was according to God’s will. He wanted everyone to have the right to choose and he did not want to be worshiped above our Heavenly Father. Jesus loves and Lucifer wants the credit. Heavenly Father chose Jesus’ plan. This made Lucifer angry so he formed an army and was able to convince one third of the hosts in heaven to follow him. Two thirds of the spirits followed Jesus’ plan of salvation. A great war broke out, between the two sides, and the third of the hosts that sided with Lucifer (including Lucifer) were cast out of heaven. After the great war and after the hosts were cast out of Heaven, Adam and Eve were created and were given dominion on Earth.

What makes this story so significant for you?

The fact that you have a body means you already chose Jesus’ plan of salvation, you were not cast out of Heaven. The third of the hosts that were cast from Heaven do not receive a body. Adam and Eve were not created until all the bad hosts were cast out of heaven. You are among the sons and daughters of God, just like Adam and Eve, just like Jesus Christ. You chose Jesus, you chose to follow our Heavenly Father, and you chose to have experiences on Earth. 

You have a lot of potential.

You are Jesus’ brother or sister. Since Jesus is your brother, you have every ability to be just like him. You and Jesus have the same Heavenly Father. Having the same heavenly father means that you have the potential to be just as great as Jesus. You are not the black sheep and Jesus is not the favorite. Your Heavenly Father loves you as much as he loves Jesus. You are priceless and you are loved, more than you can imagine, by your Heavenly Father and by Jesus, your brother. Now it is your choice to follow the path back to our Heavenly Father no matter how rocky it can be.


Blue eyes

I’m seriously having trouble seeing any good sparks today. I’m a stupid person with a lot of faith. I love my Heavenly Father, I love Jesus Christ but I’m beginning to believe that religion is evil. It causes people to judge, be hypocrites, it puts limits on God, and lets face it we rely on imperfect but inspired men to write scriptures. How do we know that they were in the right frame of mind when these inspired books were written? How do we know? We don’t, it takes a huge amount of faith.

Not to mention, some books were removed, verses were changed. I’ve read the Latin Vulgate with English translation. The verses are a little bit different from the king James version and are definitely different from the New International Version. Then again, there is a reason behind this…it’s because they were translated by imperfect men, inspired by God. You know what that means? It means that an imperfect man has to keep himself very perfect to translate the words of God correctly. No man is perfect but Christ!!!

So this means that all inspired books are written by imperfect men.

It’s really hard to always see Good Sparks. It really is. There is so much hate in the world. There is too much ignorance. There is not enough faith. There are children being murdered. Satan tears apart the family unit. There is sickness every where. Our food is harmful. No one really appreciates anyone. There are dead animals on the sides of the road. There are butterflies being hit by windshields. Caterpillars squashed. Pets are hit by cars.  Homeless people walking streets. Drug addiction. Wars. Hatred. Fighting. UGH!!

On a day in which I feel hopeless, here is my good spark for the day. The eyes of a child. All three of my children have blue eyes and in their eyes I see hope. DSCF4517

Praying with Kids

I was asked to speak about prayer for the children at church on Sunday. Sometimes I have trouble understanding what I’m reading in the bible. Therefore, I will re-write verses in my journal using words and grammar that I understand. This is what I wrote for the children about prayer.

dear god

Matthew 6:6-8 is about the manner in which to pray.

6 But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.

But you, when you pray, enter in to your heart, and when you shut the door to the world, pray to your Father who is in your heart; and your Father who see’s in your heart will come to you.

Pray with all your heart. 

7 But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking.

But when you pray, do not ask for the same things over and over, as the nonbelievers do: they think the more they talk the more they are heard. 

Don’t ask for the same things because it shows a lack of faith.

8 Be not ye therefore like unto them: for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him.

Do not be like them; your Father knows what you need before you even ask. 

Believe your father knows what you need and knows what is best for you.. 

Matthew 6:9-13 is about how to pray.

9 After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.

Pray like this; Our Father who is in heaven, Holy is your name.

Heavenly Father, you are so awesome. 

10 Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.

Your kingdom is here. Your will is on earth, as it is in heaven.

Your spirit shines everywhere and I’m so happy I can have you with me here on earth.

11 Give us this day our daily bread.

Give us our daily lesson.

Thank you so much for teaching me so I can be a better leader for you. 

12 And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.

And forgive us of our mistakes, as we forgive those who have hurt us.

Please forgive me for punching my brother in the arm. Even though he punched me first, I forgive him because I love him and he is my brother. 

13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For yours is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.

Thank you for blessing me with great parents who teach me to choose the right. I know that I am protected by you, forever. In Jesus name. Amen.

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